a birthday.

its someone's birthday today.
funnily enough its also the day that i remember all the things i hated.


who woulda thunk?

there were nights when the wind was so cold..

but it's all coming back, its all coming back to me now.
there are moments of gold and there are flashes of light.


im ready.


there is a creativity storm brewing in my brain and rumbling in my heart.


i want structured fabrics.
i want paint.
i want leather.
i want silk scarves wrapped around my forehead, and i dont care if its passe.


now if only i could make shoes.

this guy makes me go ha. ha.

colors

"in the beginning...
oh - long before that..
when light was deciding who should be in, and who should be out of spectrum
Yellow - was in trouble. even then.


seems that Green, you know how Green can be..
didnt want Yellow in
some silly primal envy i suppose..
but for whatever cause; the effect was bad on Yellow.
and caused Yellow to weep yellow tears
for several eternals, before there were years.


until Blue heard what was up, between Green and Yellow.
and took Green aside for a serious talk
in which Blue pointed out
that if Yellow and Blue
were to get together...
(not that they would)
but if they did..
a gentle threat - they could make their own green
'oh' said Green with some understanding..


naturally by a sudden change of hue
Green saw the light, and Yellow got in.




worked out fine.
Yellow got lemons.
and Green..
got limes."

- Ken Nordine

nobody's alone.

' the little cracks they escalated
and before we know it is too late
for making circles and telling lies


you're moving too fast for me
and i cant keep up
maybe if you slowed down for me
i could see you're only telling
lies, lies, lies
breaking us down with your
lies, lies, lies. '




- glen hansard


(see the movie Once. do it now.)




ps. Im in love with Glen Hansard

one headlight?

i am the epitome of laziness.


i have no motivation.


no money


no desire to stay awake.


i wake up and wait all day until i can go to sleep again.


is it bed time yet?


are we there yet?


can we drive it home with one headlight?

Ughhhh.

she says: are you going to get into a relationship with him? i think you should. i think it'll be good for you.


i say: fuck that. i dont want a relationship.


she says: but you like him, you cant deny it. you got jealous - you know what that means.


i say: okay fine. but it doesnt mattter. nothing matters. its all bullshit. everything is bullshit.


she says: well then stop seeing him.


i say: maybe i will.


but really...
..... ... ... .. . .
i wont. i wont and i will carry on until the week before i leave. i like it too much.
and then...whether i call it something or not...it will be hard.
im a masochist - what else would i do? avoid pain? hell no.


ride it out. enjoy the ride.
even when you know its going to end, you still wait in line for it.